How dark does the black need to be before the blindness of the day’s light fades and I open my eyes? I walk each day into the next, oblivious to life…one step closer to death. Only in the deepest of sorrow and pain is hope found… is hope sought. How long will my cries go unanswered… unheard? Deep in this pit of despair I long to taste the sweet relief, deep in this pit I drift in thoughts of the final chapter. My thoughts, my hopes, my will… fade to black. The pain is all I know now, it is an old friend long forgotten. My friend whispers such sour nothings into my mind. Darkness engulfs me, stealing my words, my thoughts, my desire for the light. I want to remember the light but my minds eye is blinded by the pain.
The blindness fades, my eyes adjust and in this darkness I can see. I see what should have been… what could have been. I see how blind I was, walking in the light. I see the neglect I have shown to the one who comforts me, the one who is always there waiting on me to open my eyes. Now in absolute darkness, I see the light hidden from me by the day. The light once dwarfed by the bustle. The sounds of television, the noise of the headlines, the bills, the cars, the sex…all left behind the veil of darkness. The glimmer of hope is in my horizon, the candle flickers…it seems so delicate and exposed. I feel the pull from the other side as the pain subsides but the comforter clings to me, pulls me into His bosom. My pain is calmed by His embrace and my heart already begins to cheat…my eyes are closing as each agony is lifted. He knows I will cheat, He knows I will forget…He hugs me tightly and wipes the tears. In his arms, I am at peace. In His arms, my eyes begin to close… I awake with the memory so fresh in my mind as I walk into the light. The sun so bright, the day so short…on this day in the darkness of light, my vision will fade. I walk each day into the next, oblivious to life.