wallpaper-of-sunset-crater-volcanoMany young men have had girlfriends. All too often, being self centered and goal oriented with the goal being getting in the bed, they act through the motions of caring just long enough for intimacy, after which they only call on the “girlfriend” when the desire for intimacy arises. Sometimes this leads to a relationship but most of the times it has very little roots in love and the brief moments of intimacy cannot pull the weight of a lasting relationship and this connection is severed.

Many people have had girl/boy-friends that start out merely as friends, after enjoying the company of each other they date and get to know one another, they are compatible and grow into a healthy relationship and fall in love. The “logical” next step is marriage. After being married a while, the honeymoon fades and life’s distractions begin to ping away on the marriage. Children come into the picture, the corvette is traded for a mini van, the money once used to travel is now used pay for insurance and a house…ping, ping, ping…the divots become craters and soon the marriage starts to fade. The couple pays more attention to life than to each other and all too often the decay creeps in and the next “logical” step is divorce.

Some people after being married grow into a relationship and bond to each other. The two become one. Life pings problems but the top priority is each other. children come into the picture and they share in the responsibilities, enjoy the years that pass and are thankful. The bills stack up and the responsibilities grow and the corvette just isn’t really that big of a deal anymore. The trips they once took every year to Tahiti are traded in for a theme park every other year and that is fine. The intimacy has to be planned now and the spontaneity of it all seems a memory but that is okay, they have each other and embrace those moments in bliss and appreciation. Time passes and they are inseparable, they know each other, favorite foods, pet peeves…the simplest of things are important to each other. This is a “relationship”…the two become one.

We are made with a hole in us. deep inside there is a longing that yearns for something. Many of us put money or sex or acceptance in that hole but the hole remains. Some of us put a person there but the hole remains a hole. That hole was put there by God…for God. Some of us kinda sorta feel that and reach out to God only long enough for Him to stick a finger in the hole and we feel good for a moment and go back to putting that thing we think we need back in. Is this person a Christian? Some of us allow God to fill the hole but as time goes by we replace Him little by little with distractions until one day we wonder where God went. Is this being a Christian? Some of us allow God to fill the hole and are consumed by His presence, we nurture the relationship and prioritize God as the most important thing in our lives and He empowers us to overcome the distractions and thrive. Is this being a Christian?

Allow me to cut to the chase and directly ask you a few questions. Do you have a relationship with Christ? I am not saying you cannot be a Christian if you only heard a message once and said a prayer and then go through life struggling or keeping God in your pocket to pull out when you need him. I am not saying if you refuse to give up those distractions or sins that hold you down, you cannot be a Christian. Drug addict? Liar? Cheater? Homosexual? Self Centered? Murderer? Drunkard? Abuser? Porn addict? Whatever Sin etc… All these can be Christian, it is not for me nor any other human to say if another person is or is not a Christian. Ask yourself that, look inside. Can you have a relationship with someone if you never talk to them? Do you pray regularly? Can you have a relationship with someone if you don’t get to know them? Do you read the bible? Can a relationship last if you put that person last in everything? Is God more important to you than the person, money or thing? Are you a Christian?

The bible is our guide. All the trials, all the ups and the downs in this life can be a journey filled with joy and purpose. Even the bad things have a silver lining when God is at the helm and your trust and faith is in Him. It is not usually an overnight process but a life long exercise building faith, growing in the Lord and learning who He is through scripture and prayer with the Holy Spirit inside connecting you to God.