Where are you God, I need you now more than ever?

When it really hits the fan and I pray, I fast and go to church and search for God and … no answer. When I am hurting and can’t take it and call out again: God, help me … small answer but the hurt still stabs like a spoon through my spleen … Where are you God, I need you now more than ever?

Yet they seek Me day by day and delight to know My ways, as a nation that has done righteousness and has not forsaken the ordinance of their God. They ask Me for just decisions, they delight in the nearness of God. ‘Why have we fasted and You do not see? Why have we humbled ourselves and You do not notice?’ Behold, on the day of your fast you find your desire… -Isaiah 58:2-3

I have had dry seasons where I went through the motions of seeking God and it seemed like He just would not come close to me, I have been praying for others that are going through similar situations. I think maybe God pulls away and even allows others who would normally comfort us, pull away. While the distance from the comfort seeked is a painful experience, perhaps the Lord is giving exactly what is needed and not wanted!

I get so caught up in me that I am just to full to have room for God.

I have had maybe 20 shows set to record on the DVR, I just couldn’t get enough Ice Road Truckers, The Deadliest Catch, America’s Got Talent, American Idol … I just have to work harder to get the money for better head gaskets to handle more boost on my mustang, I had to get those huge mud tires to go deeper in the mud and down the creek, I had to have some more fishing gear, I had to go to that race, I needed some time at the beach, I needed to go shooting… I I I!!! I was simply too full of these things to have room for God to come in. No wonder I can’t find God in prayer after watching three hours of television. I remember back in school when exams were coming up and I had to set everything aside and get somewhere quiet like the library and really hunker down and study? Maybe, just maybe all these things I thought God has blessed me with are really just distractions. God is blessing me by striping away all this stuff…(even that thing that hurts you so much right now), in order to get me to a place to let Him do the work that is so desperately needed.

Blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled… -Matthew 5:6

What do I really hunger for? Is it that new thing? Is it for that person to stop treating me that way? Is it to remove that pain? There is nothing wrong with having my needs met, the problem is allowing the needs and the wants become a blur. What do I really need? I mean strip it all down, all of it! Water, food, shelter…life…God. I hear stories of missionaries coming back telling me of these extremely poor people that don’t have shoes, people that lose family members to starvation and the elements as often as I lose signal on my mobile phone. I hear these stories and the one thing that almost always follows up is how far these people walk bare footed to spend time together in worship to God, how much joy they have walking with the Lord and getting to know Him. If my car broke down on Sunday, would I walk to church? I am not trying to guilt anyone, just being real. Do we really seek God? How far are we willing to go to get close to Him?

I am going to admit something that hurts a lot to even think about. For several years, I had a single underling fear that I kept hidden in my heart and I tried to keep it hidden from God. I was afraid God would kill one of my family members to get my attention, I was so afraid that I did not allow myself to get close enough to Him to give Him the chance but I stayed just close enough to be fed for basic spiritual survival. I had all my needs cared for, I really didn’t need too much of Him anyway… boy was I stupid. After my distance from the Lord went for several years the longing to be with Him deep in my soul started to grab me, the hunger was growing, I had the thirst again… the fear gripped me again. I dropped to my knees and told God that I do not care what it takes, I need you Lord, I need you more than ever! I truly believe if I had the willpower and dedication to follow Him, I never would have went through the pain I experienced but I was just too full of everything to make room for Him. I lost the dearest thing I had on the planet and when the pain of it caught up to me, nothing else really mattered, I really didn’t need much at all other than God to come and allow me to heal in His glow, to grow in His presence. To follow in His steps.

The Lord is healing my pain, He is here and I have Him and know it and the urgent feeling of despair is now just a dull pain I can deal with. I am now at the end of the short story I wrote: The Darkness of Light. Now, what do I do? I dropped cable TV, I parked the truck in the garage, I dropped the internet to a 1 meg connection, I drop to my knees and pray for the first and last thing I do each day, I ask that the Lord will allow me to see people as He does, I ask that the Lord will use me. I pray each day for others hurting, I go to church on Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I put all the Hot-Rod magazines away and dusted off the Christian books I had … I read my bible. That thing that hurts me so much is not restored but hope is on the horizon, I am more responsible with what the Lord has given me; I have more money now yet make less, I spend more quality time with my kids, I spend time with other people and genuinely care about them, I am losing weight fast, my body is being restored, I look forward to each day instead of regretting it. I have hope, I have what I need and more. This walk is not an easy one and I really have to try so I am constantly praying for strength and wisdom and guess what? I still screw it up at times! I run to the Lord and ask Him to forgive me and not leave me and He holds me up.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me but I do know one thing. God is here and is with me and I have what I really need. I am going to work hard to keep it. I love you Jesus, I love you first Lord and want you to lead my life. I trust you my King and my life is yours to do with as you see fit. I see you God and need you more than ever.

Not sure where you are or how you lost your way?

 “I am the good shepherd. I know my sheep, and my sheep know me,  just as the Father knows me, and I know the Father. I give my life for the sheep.  I have other sheep that are not in this flock, and I must bring them also. They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock and one shepherd. -John 10:14-15

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.28 I give them eternal life, and they will never die, and no one can steal them out of my hand. -John 10:27-28

If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new! -2 Corinthians 5:17

Let that soak in for a moment… if you belong to Jesus, there is NOTHING that can separate you from His grasp. You are His eternally and nothing you have done or will do can separate you from Him, on the same token, nothing you will ever do can earn this gift. God’s grace blesses us. The LORD gives us salvation paid for by the blood of Jesus the Christ. Do you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you belong to Christ and will spend eternity in Heaven? If not, please don’t wait a second longer.

God Loves you! If you were the last human on this Earth, He would have still died so that you may be saved, that is a lot of love!

How do you start a relationship with God?

  1. Realize that you are a sinner.No matter how good a life we try to live, we still fall miserably short of being a good person. That is because we are all sinners. We all fall short of God’s desire for us to be holy. The Bible says, “No one is good—not even one” (Romans 3:10 NLT). This is because we can not become who we are supposed to be without Jesus Christ.
  2. Recognize that Jesus Christ died on the cross for you.The Bible tells us, “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while were still sinners” (Romans 5:8 NLT). This is the Good News, that God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die in our place when we least deserved it.
  3. Repent of your sin.The Bible tells us, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away” (Acts 3:19 NLT). The word repent means to change our direction in life. Instead of running from God, we can run toward Him.
  4. Receive Jesus Christ into your life.Becoming a Christian is not merely believing some creed or going to church on Sunday. It is having Christ Himself take residence in your life and heart. Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door [of your life] and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in. . .” (Revelation 3:20 NKJV).

If you would like to have a relationship with Christ, simply pray this prayer and mean it in your heart.

Dear Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I believe You died for my sins. Right now, I turn from my sins and open the door of my heart and life. I confess You as my personal Lord and Savior. Thank You for saving me. Amen.

If you just prayed that prayer and meant it, Jesus Christ has now taken residence in your heart! Your decision to follow Christ means God has forgiven you and that you will spend eternity in heaven. The Bible tells us, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NKJV).

To put your faith in action, and grow in your relationship with God, here are some important first steps:

Marriage is under attack! What do we do?

Do you know what the failure rate of marriage is? There is a lot of data out there and it can be broken down by 1st, 2nd….marriages but on average over half of ALL marriages end in divorce, that is millions a year... I will close this post with current prayers for marriage, I ask you to pray for these hurting couples after you read this.

What in the world is going on? What does the Lord say about divorce?

Now I give this command for the married people. (The command is not from me (Paul); it is from the Lord.) A wife should not leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must not marry again, or she should make up with her husband. Also the husband should not divorce his wife. 1 Cor 7:10-1

Considering the above scripture, we know divorce IS NOT the will of God or He would be contradicting Himself, so if the Lord is not behind it, who do you think is? I will give you three guesses and it is not money or communication.

The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10

Satan and his fallen cronies are on a mission to destroy anything that Jesus approves. We should not be surprised, the message is clear all throughout the bible. I think the problem lies with complacency. We get married, go to church on Sunday, sing a few hymns, watch football, hit the shopping center and start all over again next week. In essence, we get so comfortable and lost in the day to day we really don’t have the time or need for Jesus…and then those small whispers come in: he never listens to me, she never respects me, he is always gone, she is not affectionate any more, he doesn’t treat me the way he once did, she doesn’t make me feel the same anymore, he isn’t a leader after all…. WAKE UP! Satan has the reins and you don’t realize it!

The solution is so simple. Guard your heart and your mind from the deceiver! How, you ask? By preparing for battle! Put on the FULL armor of God:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his great power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can fight against the devil’s evil tricks. Our fight is not against people on earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness, against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world. That is why you need to put on God’s full armor. Then on the day of evil you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing. So stand strong, with the belt of truth tied around your waist and the protection of right living on your chest. On your feet wear the Good News of peace to help you stand strong. And also use the shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows of the Evil One. Accept God’s salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times with all kinds of prayers, asking for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready and never give up. Always pray for all God’s people. Ephesians 6:10-18

Sadly, many such as myself try and utilize a few of the tools God gives us and rely on our own strength to thwart off the evil one…I have news for you, it can’t be done without the FULL armor of God, all we do is postpone the inevitable. It is my prayer, families will use the tools God provides before it is too late and drop those awful statistics but life’s distractions seem so much more important when everything is going well so what do we do now that we have the broken pieces scattered about? We move forward, we move forward with God at the helm! We put on that glorious armor, we tie that belt of truth tight around our waste, we live righteously and protect our hearts, we put on the shoes of gospel that bring peace, we stand behind the shield of faith moving forward, we don the helmet of salvation that protects our minds and WE FIGHT with the sword sharpened by the Lord Himself!

We love and we pray with all of our hearts, with all of our might believing the Lord will deliver us and trust which ever path He see’s fit to put us on. Maybe the Lord will reunite you or maybe the Lord needs you focused and elsewhere, I don’t know. I do know He will guard and heal your heart and use you in His army. An army sent out not to destroy but quite the opposite, to love! Love and serve your brothers and sister, give with a joyful heart, give your time, give your money, give in any way you feel led and watch the Lord work in the lives around you…in your life. It is not an easy path but the reward is great!

If you have a prayer request, please post it here, I will pray and others reading this will too. I ask that you please pray for just a few of the millions of prayers asking for help in marriages:

Lord I Come Before You Tonight, Crying Out To You O Lord For My Husband Return To His Family,
Lord, I Ask That Favor Is Granted To My Family. Touch And Heal My Husbands Heart Of All
The Hate And Bitterness Of Guilt, Lord Show Him That His Family Loves Him And Forgive Him For All
He Has Done To Hurt Us…lord I Ask That All Of The Curses And Spells Place Upon My Family And My Marriege
Be Reversed Back To The Sender In The Mighty Name Of Jesus,lord I Ask That You Reveal The Turth To My
Husband, Who Has Set Out To Hurt His Family And Destory His Marriege In The Mighty Name Of Jesus…
Lord We Pray For The One Whom Has Tried To Seperate What You Have Joined Together, Husband,wife And Children.
Lord I Know You Blessed Me With This Man To Be The Father Of My Son’s,lord I Know My Husband Is A Man Of God,its In Him,
But Lord He In A Dark Place Right Now And Dont Have The Strenght To Break Free,see God I Know When My Husband Left
He Didnt Want To Return And I Know Its His Pride Thats Holding Him Back As Well, So God Iam Asking For You To Grant My
Husband With The Strenght To Go Threw Humiliation For Making An Un Godly Decision To Leaeve His Family. Lord The Last
I Spoke To My Husband He Was Still Bitter, But Lord I Trust You That You Can Make Whatever Possible When It Looks
Impossible.so Lord This Morning Iam Asking For Marriege/family Restoration…jesus..lord I Wish To Give My Boys A Life
Me And My Husband Never Had, An Mother And Father Of God Raising There Sons To Be God Fearing Leaders In The Mighty Name Of Jesus!!!!!!!!!!
Lord Make Both Of Our Paths Straight,straight Back Into Your Arms As One In The Mighty Name Of Jesus….lord I Place All My Faith In You
Cause You Blessed Me With My Husband And He Shall Be The Husband And Father You Have Called Him To Be,lord I Love My Husband Cause
It Was You Whom Sent Him To Me,it Was You Who Agreed To This Marriege,so Lord I Wont Lose Faith In You,to Touch My Husband And Bring Him Back
To You And His Family In The Mighty Name Of Jesus I Pray Amen…………….. Lord Its Already Done,my Husband Shall Return!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You Lord.

 I have been going thru a hard time for the last 3.5 years.
One tragedy after another. After another, after another. High stress, depression, anxiety attacks, and I’m just tired. Tired of fighting to live, and work through all the bad things. I’m just tired.

One of the major things that happened was my husband had an affair and left me for that woman. It has put my children and I in non-ideal situations. Especially financially.

I’m so tired of holding resentment. Of waiting for justice. For some reason I’m hell bent on her being miserable because she made my children and I miserable. I want both of them (husband and her) to “pay” for what they did. And all I see is them happy (because I was left with the short end of the stick) and kid free dating and taking my kids on vacations while I go to the food pantry for food.

I have to let go of this, or I will always be miserable. I know you cannot compare your life to someone else’s, but I think about all this all day. Nothing brings me comfort and joy. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Everytime I went thru something I was “like Ok I can do this” and then something else would happen just to stick the knife even farther into my heart.

I am lost.

Our marriage is suffering. My wife has lost interest in me, and she does not feel close to me anymore. I’m very much in love with her still. I was very unaware that she was not happy, I guess I missed the signs? I don’t know, but she never told me directly. We have 2 kids, and a good life, but our relationship is suffering. We love each other, and she cares\loves me, but does not believe that she can get the feelings back she has lost for me, and is considering whether we should separate, as I deserve better than her, she says.I’ve prayed a lot, and God has told me two things, “love her more, like god would” and “hold on”. I have been doing my best to love her like god does, and show her and tell her daily how much she means to me. I believe that God wants us to recover, and I believe that God can heal our marriage. Not being closehas caused her a lot of guilt, that she’s not meeting my needs, and it makes getting closer and repairing our relationship more difficult. Please pray that we can become close again. Please pray that god can free her from her guilt. Please pray that god will give me the endurance to press on, composure to give it all up to God and let him do his great work, even if it’s not at the pace I’d like, and that we can just have a good time renewing the closeness we once had. In short, pray that God will bring us back together and stronger than ever. I know he can do it. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life, and I pray and ask God that I won’t lose my family. They mean everything to me, and the thought of losing them is very hard to bear. My wife may also be seeing someone, so please pray that if she is, that God will meet her where she’s at and help her through it. I just want my wife back.

My husband and I are currently going through a spiritual desert. It seems that we are isolated from all others and there is no help for us. We are crying out and the only reply we hear is the echo of our own voices. We have both been through dry times before, but this one seems like it is designed to take us out.

I believe that if God can’t do it, it can’t be done. People keep prophesying to us that they see so many blessings being poured out to us, but right now, troubles are all that seem to be pouring forth freely. It takes so much to get up to face a new day these days.

If you are reading this, we would be so grateful for your prayers. Thank you!